The Kids are Not Alright: A Response to Rod Dreher’s Article Regarding Generation Z Sexuality

  1. All Alone

Recently, there has been a lot of discussion about sexual and romantic desire in young adults (birth cohort ~1995-2002, referred to from now on as Zoomers), as Rod Dreher’s article on bisexuality among young women 

(which reports that 30+% of young women and 20% of young men self report as LGBT) struck a nerve among many people. Most of the commenters on his website dismiss all the concerns in his article as overblown. I would like to push him from the other side, as Handle’s Haus does on his recent book, and note that this is only one of many concerning statistics with regards to sexuality and marriage among the young, which collectively portend disaster. The birth rate is plummeting. Over a quarter of young American men did not have sex at all in 2019, even before COVID-19. The marriage rate is at its lowest ever, with 70% of people under 40 being unmarried, and most young singles are not looking to get married soon.  As Dreher himself puts it, no marriage, no families, no future. 

I write this essay as a Zoomer university student. In many ways, I am one of the most successful of my generation. I got a near-perfect SAT score, and earned a BS in a STEM degree from a major university in only 3 years. Although I am not an incel, I have had to give a lot of thought to the question of my generation’s sexuality in the past several years, because a large fraction of the guys I have met in high school and college seldom or never went on dates, had sex, or had girlfriends. Many of them still hung out with girls, but a lot of them never connected romantically or sexually. All of it seemed very ominous to me: if one guy can’t get laid, people can write him off as a loser, but if a large percentage of young men are sexually frustrated to the extent that they rarely get any attention from women, there is something very odd going on. So I found myself forced to theorize about what exactly has befallen us, and what are the roots and implications of mass sexlessness in America. 

Why, overall, do men and women desire one another less?  

As pointed out before, the girls were sexually uninterested in a large number of the guys. As I looked at the statistics and the boys in question, I came up with a simple first answer as to why the percentage of sexless men was so high: the average Zoomer guy is extremely physically unattractive relative to his ancestors. He suffers from both the highest obesity rate ever and the lowest testosterone levels for his age ( He is so physically weak that 30-year-old women have literally been measured to have stronger grip strength than him, and David French has mocked him for it. ( Moreover, if grip strength has anything close to a normal distribution, then a significant fraction (>15%) of young males are over a standard deviation weaker than that average! This physical and hormonal profile alone likely plays a large role in why no girls want many of these guys.

On the other hand, a few guys, even among similar demographics of people, got lots of casual sex. In other words, the inequality of the distribution of sexual partner count for men is high, likely higher than two decades ago: more incels, and a small class of players. (Proof of this is the fact that STD infection rates have gone up , but at a far higher rate for women than men, meaning that more women are having sex with a smaller subset of men.) But there aren’t that many attractive guys, so even if they have sex with many girls, on average people have less sex than before, since the majority of sexual encounters occur in relationships.  In my opinion, this leads to worse relationships for everyone, as the girls see unreliable, disease-ridden c(h)ads on the one hand and sexually unattractive losers on the other and conclude that all men fall into one of these two boxes. (Observe how the same girls will switch from complaining about how men are cheating, narcissistic bastards to then hating on incels and virgins who should get out more, sometimes within the span of a few seconds. Obviously, the male virgin didn’t cheat on her, she’s just complaining about the men of both categories, even if she’s more willing to have sex with one type than the other.)

The main thrust of Dreher’s article is pointing out that a third of Zoomer women do not consider themselves straight. This matches my experience. However, it follows logically from the facts underlying the distribution of the number of men’s sexual partners. Because the average T levels have declined so much, it is likely that even the more attractive Zoomer guys are about as masculine as the average men of 30-50 years ago, and the somewhat below average sexual losers of today would have been considered total weaklings and freaks. (Researchers have had to adjust their baseline T level several times due to the continued decline in testosterone. ) Since women have a higher baseline tendency toward bisexualism than men , many women in this environment find other women about as attractive as they do the sexless soy boys around them. These women often then conclude that they are bisexual, having mostly platonic relationships with girls while friend zoning the average guys and occasionally having flings with the minority of hot guys, who both set the tone for relationships with the other guys and whom the girls disdain for not committing. Had the girls been around men who were more attractive on average (historically normal T levels) and had the marital institution been more intact, many of the women calling themselves bisexual today would likely have desired those men instead of women. Similarly, I suspect based on experience that much of the smaller increase in non-straight orientations among men is a function of both the same hormonal changes that lowered testosterone levels and incels going gay/trans because they can’t obtain sex with women. (I have seen the latter happen with people I know either physically having sex with gays or equally desperate incels just to get off, or else choose to express sexuality using easily accessible non-straight porn and fetishes over relationships with women.)

But the girls themselves are not very attractive either. Like the men, they have the highest obesity rate ever. Add to this the increase in unappealing grooming habits such dying their hair and cutting it short, having large tattoos and piercings, and side effects from antidepressants and SSRI’s (which are prescribed more frequently than ever, and which cause loss of libido and other behavioral changes) and you wind up with far less attractive women than before. The famous Billie Eilish picture ( is a good example of this: dead eyes, thin bleach-burned hair in a garish color, visibly overweight at 18, and no intention whatsoever to dress well. In short, many of them don’t care about pleasing men at all. Obviously, many young women are still attractive, but they are a far smaller percentage of young women than before, so the difficulty of attracting even a sub-30 BMI, straight woman of average looks increases proportionately. But overall, after having seen American Zoomer women, I predict that the visa officials of Hungary, Colombia, and Thailand are going to be awfully busy in the coming decades. 

Another factor in all of this is the mental health crisis. It’s hard to attract a date when you are depressed and just want to lay in bed all day. Among the young, clinical neuroses such as depression and anxiety are being treated at record levels, often with libido-suppressing drugs. At many colleges, a third or more of students have mental health diagnoses, up to over 40% at the worst. It is also worse among young women. At some schools where the problem is worst, 48% of female undergraduates have been diagnosed with at least one mental health condition in their lives, along with 32% of males. 26% of undergraduates in the official survey have been diagnosed with two or more mental health conditions. ( This is a major crisis, which has hardly received any attention at all. Attending many in-person campuses in America in this day and age is literally living in a mental asylum. This was true at the end of the last decade: it’s undoubtedly worse this year because of COVID, as universities imprison students in their rooms with no tuition discount. ( When I visited my university, it was the only place I have ever seen where most people, including the students, wear their masks outside, terrified of death from the flu. The mental problems often lead to overeating, which makes people obese, cutting, which leaves terrifying scars on people’s limbs, and social withdrawal, which makes it hard to meet people. People are also more paranoid: a significant fraction of college-age girls interpret behavior as simple as basic compliments about their appearance as sexual harassment. Each of these changes makes the people of my generation less attractive and less willing to pursue. When you add them together you get a picture of sluggish, isolated, tortured paranoiacs, for whom sex and romance are the least of their worries.

Following this are the declines in social skills and common ground. 1/4 of people in their early 20s have no friends, and many even claim to have no acquaintances. One reason behind this is that young people are more awkward than older people were at the same age. In my opinion, this is caused by the decline in face-to-face communication, the advent of social media, and many of the previously mentioned trends like mental illness. When people don’t talk as much to one another, their conversation skills decline, and consequently they are less able to form relationships. But another factor is that social media radicalizes people. It allows them to go into their box and isolate themselves from people with other views. They are far less tolerant of others, far less forgiving of slights, so they will cut off friends and family over a single remark or vote. In my experience, this is what defines in particular the mindset of online progressives. On the other side, since beliefs as milquetoast as belief in two genders will cost you as many friends in this environment as something like Holocaust denial or wanting to repeal the 19th Amendment, many young right-wingers react to this pre-cancellation by being willing to go very, very far right, isolating them further from the rest of the population. On this note, the gender gap in political beliefs is more like a chasm among the young: young women vote left, men vote right. These trends have only accelerated in recent years, and as Americans continue to marry, if at all, later than ever before, it is unclear how and whether this divide will ever be bridged on a large scale. These trends should be included with the decline in in-person social skills, because social skills must be deployed within society, which these days is social media. 

To boil these phenomena down to one general trend, the bleakness of the Zoomers’ current sexual environment stems from an across-the-board deterioration of the quality of the people of that generation, who are on balance fatter, weaker, uglier, less able to get along, and more neurotic than any recent generation. This is a very harsh assessment, but it is undeniably true. It is difficult enough for men and women to love and desire each other in the best of times, when the men are virile and the women beautiful; when neither sex can fulfill its role and the people of both sexes are slovenly and demented, it is almost impossible. Lest I sound cruel: I do not blame my peers at all for our general flabbiness. Rather, these are effects of the poor education of the society that created us, taught us lies from childhood, and set millions of us on the course for misery and disaster. The majority of my generation were raised by single or divorced moms and career women too busy to be around, and were shunted off, while being given junk food and often mind-altering drugs every day, to the supervision of teachers who were themselves the lowest performing students in college. Many of us were never taught how to work a basic job, how to take care of ourselves, or how to make friends, let alone advanced STEM skills or high culture. It should be no surprise that people who have no good role models, don’t have career skills, don’t exercise, and don’t know how to relate to the opposite sex don’t  even leave their parents’ basement, let alone marry. 

  1. Mouse Utopia

So what are the implications of all this? Something like mass male involuntary celibacy, or a correspondingly dramatic increase in female bisexuality is a canary in the coal mine. After having met my peers and seen how they act around one another, I am convinced that society simply cannot continue with this sort of unprecedented and aberrant behavior, and will collapse if these trends are not reversed. Weimar Germany has been overstudied as a comparison, so I went about formulating comparisons between what I saw and a known control group of affluent, mentally ill test subjects: the Mouse Utopia.

In both the famous experiment and the youth of my generation, all physical needs were amply provided for. The subjects never went hungry, they always had enough shelter and a soft bed, they were given opportunities to be around other subjects. But in neither case was there any need for struggle or work. The subjects, like my peers, barely needed to move around (or get a license to drive)  anymore. And because the stakes were so low, all kinds of perverse effects came about. Homosexuality flourished, even as the average amount of sex declined. There were many males, labeled the “beautiful ones,” who became obsessed with their appearance, even as they never actually mated. (Google “looksmaxxing.”) Females became more neurotic, even as the TFR plummeted. Eventually the colony died out because none of the mice were reproducing anymore. To compare this to America: a few years ago, 47.6% of women 15-44 had never had children, the highest ever.  By 2030, I predict that this figure will probably be at least 55%. If anything, this percentage will likely be higher after this year, as everyone has lost a year of dating due to COVID. This is not good, though there is obviously still a long way until no one reproduces. 

But people are not rats, and there is another factor besides the affluence in which we were raised that could serve as both cause and effect of much dysfunction. Almost without exception, societies have had beliefs in some sort of god or morality not rooted in the physical world. These common beliefs and values form common notions of morality and serve as anchors to what the society is and how people can promote it. In the past twenty years, there has been an unprecedented collapse of religion in America, so that we went from the most Christian developed country to one of the less religious ones. The churches are almost completely irrelevant, by and large having failed to pass on either faith (Gen Z is the most atheistic generation on record ) or any sort of theological, biblical, or historical knowledge. Dreher himself has done a great job describing this with his articles. The result of this shift is that in modern America, young people are presented with nothing positive to aspire to, and no reason to live.  But the desire for some kind of transcendence never goes away. Antiracism and antifascism are the closest thing to morality taught by schools and the media, and have done the most work so far at filling the void left by the fall of the church.

 The problem is that these ideologies are clearly inferior substitutes for the Christian religion. They are merely negative identities: even in the names, they define themselves purely by what they oppose. No one and nothing is ever good enough for them. Self-proclaimed antiracists hate Abe Lincoln the Emancipator for something he believed about black people. Self-proclaimed antifascists disdain General Patton for something he said about homosexuals. Communism, bad as it was, at least presented a desirable equilibrium, a utopia that would occur after the revolution. Modern American leftism has nothing of the sort; it is mere entropy, fake ugly men dressed as fake ugly women saying fake ugly words. This is why self-hating and freakish progressives can tirelessly work to take over institutions and cancel people, but they can’t create, preserve, or even measure value, so they just run everything into the ground. Despite routing conservatives over and over, they are terminally unhappy because they can’t produce anything of value, they don’t know how to love, and they can never put enough effort in to please their vengeful and jealous god. This is why half of the most progressive young people have mental health diagnoses, over twice as much as conservatives.  And yet, this ideology is all the leftists were taught and all they know, so if they feel sad, many of them will just push harder politically, even as everything collapses around them. 

In other words, the difference between people and rats is that people have souls. Widespread spiritual anomie leads to much more dangerous problems than ordinary physical softness. The dysgenic trends of mouse utopia led to perverted and anti-natal behavior, but the mice could not understand what was going on. They could all go insane on the individual level, but you would never see mass movements of mice working together to burn down the lab. My point is that it is no coincidence that one of the first major historical events in which Zoomers played a significant part was riots around the country where resentful young people burned down their towns. Like the rats, Zoomers don’t own anything but what others gave them. Unlike the rats, the Zoomers can sense that something is very wrong with this country and their lives. It’s why so many are political extremists. The statistically minded can see that Social Security and Medicare will go bankrupt decades before people born in 1995 retire,  and that the median 30-year-old hardly has any assets after over a decade in the workforce.  This means that not only are the Zoomers spiritually poorer than anyone before them, but they can see that they will be materially worse off, even than Millennials who will at least inherit what remains of Boomer wealth. No one has prepared them spiritually for struggle or hardship, and so I predict that amidst the spiritual emptiness, all kinds of cults and radical ideologies will continue to take root. 

 The population of the Mouse Utopia declined in a a clean curve with a peak and a smooth downward slope. I do not believe the Zoomers will continue population decline in this manner. Certainly, many of them, maybe even the majority, won’t have kids, as mentioned before. But the reason why Mouse Utopia could continue as long as it did was that the researchers were always giving the mice more water and cheese, whereas it is doubtful that the people of my generation are functional enough, on the collective technical, social, or even physical levels, to keep the lights on. (An example: 71% of American youth are now ineligible to join the military due to educational, criminal, and health disqualifications, and the US Army has been forced in the past few years to allow bipolar and self-harming recruits just to meet the quota. There are obvious confounding factors, but the point stands that institutions are significantly lowering standards because there are fewer healthy candidates to recruit.) The quarantine alone caused a quarter of Generation Z adults to think about killing themselves, far worse than any other age demographic in America.  Just imagine what would happen if the pharmacies ran out of Zoloft. Like the rats in Mouse Utopia, Zoomers are trapped in a world of prosperity they did not create and do not understand. Unlike the rats, the artificial bubble constructed by society around the Zoomers will collapse as their elders retire and American prosperity declines. 


To sum this up, the relationship problems of my generation illustrate two far greater trends, which will intertwine and play out in various ways over the course of the next few decades. The first, which played out in the Mouse Utopia, is that Generation Z on balance is the weakest generation, having been raised by a micromanaging and decadent society to be soft and utterly dependent on the system. The second is that they are thoroughly spiritually bankrupt, atomized, and lonely, leading to corresponding longings, confusion, and rage which will at minimum unbalance the system. Rod Dreher is one of the few mainstream thinkers to ever touch on these issues, and for this is met with consistent mockery and denial by his commenters that these constitute problems at all. I have witnessed, in both statistics and personal experience, the widespread destructive trends of poor mental and physical health, inability to socialize or pair-bond, and loss of faith and spiritual values. They are very real, and they have caused and will continue to cause such tremendous suffering and destruction that unchecked, they threaten the US’s ability to continue as a nation.

I will finish on a positive note, and state that I have hope for the future. For every trend described here, there are exceptions. There will be a core of Zoomers who will buck these trends, struggling mightily against all odds as the world falls apart around them. The future of America belongs to them and their heroic efforts. They must be supported and trained at all costs. (This is not very complicated to do: if a young person you know is less than thirty pounds overweight, has friends, is not on psychotropic drugs, and can hold a steady job, they are already ahead of the majority of their peers.) But altogether, this is a lost generation, and it will be one of the most important and arduous tasks of any serious political movement in America to rebuild these broken men and women to the extent that we can.

54 thoughts on “The Kids are Not Alright: A Response to Rod Dreher’s Article Regarding Generation Z Sexuality

  1. Good analysis. Beyond biology, another factor in why Zoomer men are so often unattractive, sickly, effeminate: the transference of Japanese/Korean idol culture, where women remain sexless (at least heterosexually) and project their desires onto unattainable, highly manipulated, impossibly and androgynously beautiful men who are essentially just products being sold to women ages 15-40, onto North America and Western Europe. I am not speaking specifically about Western women who like BTS or some other KPop group, but about the general culture of fan-to-idol relationship.

    There’s a number of reasons for this, including the general commodification of intimacy and social interaction, but the biggest is the dominance of social media as the mode of social interaction amongst zoomers. The prominence of certain influencers, and female social media cults surrounding certain actors and musicians (the Bieber phenomenon being an early harbinger of this trend), leads to a lot of young men becoming radically self-conscious, brooding, preening, attention-seeking, and all kinds of other personality traits that most women overwhelmingly find unattractive in men. And even for good-looking guys who are able to mimic the styles, haircuts, Instagram poses, and lifestyle accessories of young male icons like Timothy Chalamet, they are unlikely to receive female romantic of sexual attention: the point of the typical-female-to-beautiful-young-male-idol attraction/relationship is that it is parasocial and parasexual, she knows that she will never be with him and wouldn’t want to dirty him with sex, but she could never settle or lower himself with a cheaper knock-off version. Yet young men still try to be like the idol, even well past the point that they should be focusing on developing themselves and stepping into manhood: instead, they enter their mid-20s dressing like they’re still 14, eating very little to stay thin and boyish, dropping what money they have on the latest trendy clothes and accessories of last week, even avoiding markers of maturity like a professional job because it would signal having exited teendom.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s terribly helpful; you imagine that the One Who Is is honored by your flippant dismissal. Do you imagine your words open the hearts of these beloved of God. These are your children and you have nothing to offer but trite emojis. You fool a touch of Christian fame and you are salt less. This article should break your heart not generate smugness


      1. Your post is incoherent. To whom are you speaking? The author of the post or Tito? Either way, you’re way off. The doctor, to treat the disease, must first diagnose it. This article is an important and helpful step towards the completion of that process.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Christianity has a long, long tradition of smugness over the imagined fate of the unbeliver, of gloating descriptions of the flames of hellfire for which the mockers and blasphemers are destined. Tito’s comment is more of the same.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. It gets damn near impossible to find a girl who is a virgin. Every christian girl with a nonchristian boyfriend has chosen a nonchristian for one reason, and they all have nonchristian boyfriends. Back in the day, fathers would stop such nonsense, but there are no fathers anymore.


      2. I wouldn’t recommend a young man looking for a wife to hold out for a virgin, it just isn’t going to happen. Look instead for low body count and sincere repentance.
        I agree that dating outside the faith is not recommendable nowadays.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a well thought out and accurate work. My son is a Zoomer and while not involuntarily celibate, he doesn’t date because of a lack of women that he finds desirable. And frankly, I don’t blame him. I wouldn’t date now if I was his age. The young women are, to be frank, nasty. Either fat, skinny fat, or weirdly fit in a masculine way. It’s horrible time to be a young man or a young woman.

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    1. The fit ones are the best option – they at least have work ethic and dedication. I also don’t find an athletic female unattractive. It just only works if you’re jacked yourself, which you should be.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for this , I am French and I see the same tendencies in my country , what about the people who do not want to raise children because they think it is no good to have children in a depressed world ?


      1. Paul Scott makes a very good point — I know two women (far too young for me) who are both fit physically and have normal(ish) personalities who make a point (so they tell me) to inform any partner they meet that having offspring is out of the question. And you make a valid answer. Although given the grave increase in social control acquired by the government during Covid, and the absurd social control imposed by woke universities on our brightest children, making a “world worth raising kids” suggests a severe retreat from current American techno-media driven culture to a very remote town. Having faith is also a point, except, in Christianity, the choice seems to be between congregations of woke social justice versus a legalistic fundamentalism reminiscent of talmudic Judaism.


      2. Robert Bingle, find a Confessional Lutheran Church. They preach the true gospel. You’ll hear the law that exposes sin and the free grace of God in Christ that gives peace with God in the forgiveness of sins. If you want to find one that isn’t gay, make sure it’s one that won’t give you Holy Communion before instructing you. Those pastors don’t care about your soul. … and they’re probably gay. The LCMS is a good place to start. But be careful. There’s a lot of flubby gayness.


  4. I very much enjoyed reading this and found that it put words to what I have been feeling for a long time. I agree wholeheartedly that it is the responsibility and duty for those in my generation, who see this dangerous trend, to do everything in their power to help resolve this. It can only start with a realignment of the zeitgeist. We must form our own institutions. These problems started long before this generation and we cannot continue to rely on the people who brought us here. We must re instantiate philosophy as a core element of the educational development of our students. We must match our scientific knowledge with our philosophical understanding. Only through a re awakening of our minds will we amass the strength to once again grasp the wheel that guides human destiny. We need an education revolution. The entire system and method of education must be replaced. I think physical activity should account for a far larger portion of the time spent in school. Also diversity of ideas must be incentivized as only through rigorous academic debate can the truth be glimpsed.

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  5. Excellent analysis. Now that I’ve read this and thought about the teens/early adults in my life, I can’t not see it. Most of them aren’t obese, but weirdly asexual and isolated.


  6. A very good article.

    Some other points.
    1. Yes, some parents are to blame. However, the school environment is socially crippling. First, the war on boys is very real. Second, the war on women is also real: – and that is just a sampler.
    2. Status and group acceptance tend to be based on informal rather than formal rules. Conflicting and/or arbitrary rules, especially for the young, are at best disorienting and at worst a source of extreme stress and disorder. Facebook and other social media sites have exaggerated this to an extent by extending social interaction – and not always the nice kind – from localized cliques to regional or even national levels (“cancel culture”).

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  7. A lot to think about here, and helpful analysis. As a pastor ordained about 15 years ago I’ve been watching and dealing with this as it happened. My experience has been that the churches I was in had already lost the baby boomers and my own generation even more, and the small number of Zoomers we had were not being raised by parents that were able to transmit the Christian faith. So the collapse was already happening in my generation. However, it’s always seemed that parents who were strongly committed to Christianity were able to–for the most part–pass on the faith and their values to their children. Unfortunately it has resulted in traditional Christians of my generation and younger being sort of like the Amish in terms of their isolation from mainstream American culture.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can’t think of anything better than being isolated from American culture.

      I haven’t watched a movie or tv show in over six years.

      I imagine I would much more enjoy hanging out with a bunch of Amish, than leftists or even normies.


  8. Eat Beef! I ate a pound of beef a day in my prime. Eating red meat tells a growing boy’s body he and his tribe are hunters in possession of prime hunting territory, so he needs to grow taller and stronger in order to defend that territory and kill the big game. Eating very little red meat tells the boy’s body he is in a loser tribe. He needs to be small and if he can eat enough roots and berries and leaves, he needs to get pudgy so he can survive times of starvation. It the USA, Americans can’t afford beef anymore due to wages being driven down by mass immigration.

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    1. I am a boomer. Six kids. I go to the Latin Mass. There are large numbers of young families at my church that fill a whole pew. Five to seven children is the norm.

      I see many 32 year-olds with three or four children.

      This is so counter-cultural, it ought to be studied and understood.

      As many have commented above, having faith makes a difference.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Would you recommend Catholicism as a Christian church option? I hate the Pope and can’t get over that along with how the Catholic Church has been infiltrated by communists and satanists.


  9. Most if not all of these things are symptoms of stagnant wages and out of control housing costs.

    If a guy could support a stay at home mom, two kids, and buy a house at 21 none of this other crap would be manifesting.

    If you put people in a weird impossible situation they’ll act weird, what a shock.

    In conclusion it’s all economics. Zero immigration. No more debt backed fiat. Go back to greenbacks and let wages rise.

    When the shill economists cry about deflation exile them by sending them out of the country naked and riding on a donkey.


  10. Great piece. Savage, but feels accurate.

    I am not a zoomer. I am a gen-X guy that was growing up in the early stages of these same trends (single parents, increasing screen time, run away progressivism). As a mid-40s man, I have been on a 10+ year path of chasing a “traditionalism” of taking risks, working out, being bold with women. The world feels alive.

    I compare this to my nephews and my cousin… for the most part, their lives are nothing like mine was, and I wonder what it would take to create a hunger in them strong enough to escape the gravity of modern apathy and lifelessness?

    I date a lot and have that in common with a small class of younger guys (20 years younger than me) that also date a lot. So I know there are younger guys that are doing the things that classically successful men have always done: Work hard, stay in shape, push yourself physically, socially, sexually. Compete, compete, compete (even if it only with previous versions of yourself). I see them winning. There are young guys killing it out there… even if they are fewer than previous generations.

    It is my hope that we’ll see some “sexual marketplace” effects where enough men drop out that a vacuum for masculinity is created… and some young guys will step in to fill it, with less competition making the effort pay off easier than it might in other eras.

    It is never “easy” (it is not supposed to be), but women are starving for masculinity… even if they don’t know enough to ask for it.

    Women are herd creatures, they tends toward the “soft” decisions, and are very easily molded by the culture around them. As men step up, step in, and pull women in to polarized relationships, those women will glow and respond. Those couples will thrive. As men play to the softness of the culture, the girls have no leadership at an intimate level… and all sorts of nonsense will manifest.

    Reject “soft.”

    It is dark, but not hopeless.

    For men reading this: Game/pickup/seduction has always stressed RESULTS. You can’t fake it or “over intellectualize it” as that won’t work. Proper Game, proper pickup is a gateway back to Natural fitness in life. If Zoomers commit to classic principles that help them meet girls and date (like men have always done), those principles will not only get them laid… but will propel them back onto a healthy path in general.

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  11. Great points, I will share with my Zoomer nephews. Something important was overlooked, IMO:
    Feminism and social media have unleashed the latent narcissism in women, which was always held in check by societal norms. They have been told in recent decades that it’s offensive to suggest they should bring anything of value to a relationship, because they owe men nothing, and because their vagina automatically makes them a treasure beyond measure. And since they can get their fix of attention and praise by posting selfies a dozen times a day (and it’s worth noting that “pretty/beautiful/gorgeous” are the most-often used reactions from both women AND men), they no longer have to be nice to men.
    Although I agree with your point that Zoomer men are less masculine and attractive than previous generations, let’s not gloss over the multiple studies proving the 80/20 rule on dating apps. Women don’t ignore the vast majority of men because they are all physically repulsive, but because their egos are so inflated, they believe only the top 20% of men deserve their attention. Men that would be considered average, or even “kinda cute” by previous generations, are now seen as ugly or invisible.
    Feminism didn’t create something new and destructive in women, it revealed it. They are now insufferable to any man who doesn’t care to be maniupalted or used as a pack mule. Dark days for single men, and for society in general.

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  12. Very accurate picture of our society today. I had seen some videos of Japanese youth that had become asexual and had lost interest in dating. It seems zoomers are going in the same direction as Japanese youth. I see very few zoomers who are “clean cut” and care about their appearance. Zoomer girls look like walking graffiti and have very aggressive attitudes. Zoomer boys seem so emasculated and those skinny jeans they wear don’t help them.

    I look forward to a follow-up!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. This was great but I think you forgot one more major factor: birth control. An incredible percentage of fertile aged women are on hormonal birth control. Obviously that stops them from having kids, but more than that it drastically alters brain chemistry of attraction, changing who they are attracted to and who is attracted to them. I highly recommend the book, “Your brain on birth control.”


  14. I have 2 daughters in this age cohort. I will add a secondary factor; the horrible curriculum at the schools. I can count on one hand the classics from English Literature they have been exposed to. Most of the books are complete modern crap whether it is about some stupid guy going to Alaska or works about racism. My daughter will finally get some exposure to romance when she reads Pride and Prejudice. There is the complete lack of education about the fine arts and classical music and creations that stirs a human’s soul.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. P&P is a vicious social satire about a young woman whose ideals about romantic love are fake, and who eventually marries for money just like her daddy did. Mr Darcy is not a romantic hero – he is boring, priggish, and a little bit stupid. His best friend – forget the name – basically admits that people put up with him only because he is rich. Check out the scene where Elizabeth reacts to her sister’s impending marriage to someone whom she did actually marry for love. All the hypocrisy about “love” laid bare.


      1. No, that would be Emma.

        P&P is about the costs of romantic love and the dangers of marrying where you do not respect. Lord Darcy and Miss Bennett had to prove themselves worthy, each to the other, before they could have a happy marriage. The clues are in all the other marriages shown, including those of the older generation.

        Sense vs. Sensibility, as it were.


  15. Is the issue is these Zoomers have a desire for romantic love but lack opportunity or they have a complete lack of desire?


      1. Please also include the development that Nola blue talks about – the impact of social media on young woman being put on pedestals (i.e. e-thots).


  16. I would be very interested in a part 2 of this article that factored in the role of pornography…thanks though. Interesting, heart-breaking reading. I’m a gen x. I feel so sad “we” have left this legacy for the generations to come.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The #1 pornography consuming demographic is… females. Surprised? Pornography is any writing that appeals to prurient interests, it’s more than just ‘dirty pitchers’. Female-preferred porn is sold widely and openly, it’s not hidden behind the counter it’s placed in reach of even small children. Female-preferred porn is the porn that dares not speak its name, it’s called by such names as “chick flicks” and “romance novels”. They all appeal to the female prurient interest and deaden the ability of females to bond with real-life men.


  17. Ok, so I’m a hairy blue eyed muscle man who works laying blocks all day. I prefer and get pretty white boys. I take them home and have drug fueled sex. They usually have gas, but I’m very persuasive. I think they like it too.


  18. Great read, perfectly sums up what I’ve been thinking and observing for the past few years regarding the entire situation of “the west”. As an incel myself I would greatly appreciate advice to solving this on an individual level that goes beyond “just lift bro”, maybe you can consider this when writing the second part. Don’t forget most incels are genetic trash.


  19. The way I see it, is that before the age of internet and the following information explosion, women really didn’t have much choices in their local community. When they have to date someone, their opinions are very limited. But with modern society, their choices have widened, their vision extended, and now even the bottom 50% of the women that used to be on the dating market are now thriving to live and act how their top 20% sisters live and date. Compared that to men, this trend means it is a disaster for the bottom 50% of men that used to be able to pick up a women at least locally due to lack of better information attainable by said women in the local area. This unfortunately, has created many unsatisfied marriages and left a lot women broke in middle age with no assets and no career to speak of, which pushed the whole women’s rights movement even further, because this is what the younger generation sees. I believe that men as a whole need to pick up their games a bit more, but there is almost no direction and no guidance from anyone! Companies don’t want to train entry level employees anymore, colleges are there only to teach one kind of knowledge and they don’t teach how people should behave anyways even if you purposely seek out that kind of knowledge. Church? Most independent ones are doing horrible, filled with half retired boomers whose advises are only valid for a by-gone era where a single income white man could feed an entire family of four, and the mega churches might as just well be God. Inc. that just want your money. Generally speaking, there is a lack of role model and spirituality for males in today’s world. Don’t think this makes it easy on women either, a lot of young, accomplished women I see in work always had complaints about their boyfriends not being motivated in today’s world, and I can see their relationships suffer as well. Overall, I feel like this is what happens when you break down every single tradition in the society just for the sake of profit making.


  20. Remember when the Catholic Church had something to say on these matters of sexuality and morality? Remember when they were counter cultural and prophetic in their unapologetic denunciation of modernity, immorality, atheism? Remember when they spoke out with influence on these “social” matters?

    What happened.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Even though I agree with most of what you wrote, there is another factor in why so many young people self-report as LGBT: it’s the easiest way to be accepted and even celebrated by peers. Today, a work of art by a straight white woman or man is considered irrelevant by many. Even the highest institutions, such as AMPAS, effectively require white people to self-report as LGBT in order to be considered for an Academy Award.
    And it seems to be the same at many high schools. The easiest way for a girl to be accepted is to declare herself LGBT. She may have been unremarkable before, but suddenly everybody praises how brave she is. There are many school events where she can become the center of attentions. I can’t find any links, but I remember these reports of some high schools where girls pressured each other and an insane percentage of girls declared to be transgender. Then, after the lockdown, with less peer pressure, a lot of these girls detransitioned back to their original gender.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. So what are the advices for young men ?
    To ignore what women say they want, and just do what is going to make them happy ?

    Because obviously “the good soft man” is a nice fantasy, but that’s not the man women choose.

    As long society help women more than man in many area that’s not gonna change. We need equality, we need to help people who need help, not just women. So if there are quotas beneficial to women there should be quotas beneficial to men

    Here women are the rats and the society the scientists feeding them.

    The rhetoric saying that women are socially less powerful than men need to stop. This is false but it’s still on this basis that feminist theories are being made..

    PS: I’m talking about the western worl of course


  23. This is one of the best essays I have read on this topic. When I came across Rob Dreher’s article about the high percentage of young women claiming to be bi/trans/whatever I thought, “that seems high,” but being a boomer age farther with children in their thirties that have yet to settle down, establish careers, or get on with their lives I also saw that maybe, just maybe, this isn’t the usual pile of steaming Internet crap. You have made your case and if things are this bad then we are simply a degenerate civilization. No wonder people want to get to Mars as soon as possible. Useless, obese, low T, whiney dysfunctional underachievers simply won’t survive in such a demanding environment.


  24. It’s a mistake to read too much into the Mouse Utopia experiment. They put too many mice in too small a space, with no forms of recreation, no natural light, no fresh air. Of course that made them crazy, even before the inbreeding started. We see the same behavior in factory-farmed animals, who are also having all their basic survival needs met, and one could hardly call that utopia for them.

    Meanwhile, Zoomers don’t always have their needs met as you imply they do, and even if they do, they have the ability to see that things aren’t stable and feel insecurity even as their needs are met, which is not so much the case for mice.


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